February 26, 2016

I found a dead bee on the ground a few days ago and kept it sitting on my bedside table. It was so tiny and fragile with delicate wings on it's already decaying body, and I think I fell in love with it's fragility. I went outside a few days later and decided not to wear shoes so I could ground myself on the soft grass and let my feet find their home in the dirt. Next minute a red hot burning went through my foot and I heard a bee buzzing like mad, attached to my toe by its stinger not being able to get away. I pulled it off in a panic and got it's stinger out of my toe, feeling the intense burn of a bee sting which matched the sadness I felt that a tiny soul lost it's life so I could feel the earth with my feet. It stung me on my left foot, which is the foot that I have my flower of life and bee tattoo. I'm about to start a new painting focusing on a dream I had about a beehive last year and I feel like these little creatures are sending me some intense lessons before I start the journey of the painting. I'm feeling so intensly restless and frustrated with trying to fit into the structure of our society. It comes over me in waves and I feel like I want to burst with frustration. Bees are symbols of unity within a community and of working together with those around you for a collective cause. I feel like this is something I am craving on a soul level.. To be a part of a community that works together to remove the barriers of separation, to promote creativity and working with Mother Earth, not against her. I'm calling out for people who feel this same longing so we can support each other in the difficulties of being so sensitive in a society that teaches people to be the opposite. This year is 100% about my art for me regardless of how many jobs I have to apply for a month or what hoops I have to jump through to have money. I feel like my heart and soul are bursting from me in the direction of my art, tugging at my core to do it. I feel like I am being called from the highest part of my being to create, to dream and to work hard within a community for the higher good of all.

"Bees flit from flower to flower gathering pollen for their purposes. Pollen clings to their fuzzy legs, and when the bee visits another nearby flower the pollen rubs off - thus pollinating the plant and assuring its continued survival. In this light, the bee asks us what we are doing to insure the growth of our inner gardens. If our heart is a garden, how are we pollinating it? What kinds of beauty can we visit in order to allow growth in our hearts, dreams, minds and emotions? What are we feeding ourselves in order to feed our dreams?"


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