I have wanted to write something about this past year but I have been struggling to put it all into sentences that flow and speak from the heart. All that comes to mind are words: transformation, heartbreak, healing, change, personal power, grounding, renewal, beginnings, endings, and love most of all..
I have felt such huge loss and grief this year. I have ended relationships of various kinds so that they could grow into healthier, happier, unconditional love. I wept oceans of tears curled in on myself on the ground. I welcomed sorrow and let it heal me.
I stretched my arms out wide and welcomed so much love into my life. I let my heart grow so much bigger than I knew was possible and let myself be welcomed into sisterhoods and tribes of kindred souls. I reconnected with a star seed that I have known for many lifetimes, and knew that I had loved him many times before. I kindled the flame of the divine feminine in my life and let myself sleep in the womb of Mother Earth to be healed of my grief. I put the call out to the divine and probed the depths of my soul to ask how I could realize my highest vision and develop my greatest gift for the benefit of all beings. I got sent the most intense message that I needed to paint. Just keep painting and don't stop. Don't doubt yourself. Paint.
And so I am here, painting and traveling Australia with my art.
So many people talk about 2016 as being one of the hardest years they've ever had.. I started this year off so depressed my hair was falling out, my skin was flaking off my body, I was down to 39kg and my lips would constantly split and bleed. I was a shell of the person I am now. I did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do for the sake of my own growth. I jumped into the abyss. And I am so incredibly grateful.
"Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it's a feather bed." - Terence McKenna
I wish you all the most magical and transformative year.
I love you